


Happier

by mayday (funhanie)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29838789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funhanie/pseuds/mayday
Summary: The renovation in his apartment building has driven barista Byun to spend his free time in the Junggu library. Drowning into the colorful worlds of the novels turns to the second way to escape reality when the library offers something better. The librarian, glum and more tired day after day, Park Chanyeol is attracting Hyun in his all brokenness. The physical relationship has barely a chance to deepen when Baekhyun finally sees the truth.Chanyeol wants his life back on track. He needs to make big decisions in his life. He wants to do things right this time, learn from his mistakes. The old life is not compatible with the new, and his friend, ten years younger dongsaeng, Minhyun, does not appreciate that. The new partner is not the easiest person, and Chanyeol is afraid that he would fuck up this relationship. His desire to grow mentally and turn the mistakes to victory is great.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

The couple at the corner table stared at each other, red cheeks flushing on their faces. Baekhyun kept glancing at the clock on the white-tiled wall. They were fifteen minutes late. Minseok didn’t mind about overworking. Baekhyun and the boss, on the other hand, did. 

Baekhyun fought against the urge to grab the metal pitcher under the coffee machine and hit that against the counter. He needed something stronger to burst the couple’s bubble with. The awkward shouts had no effect.

“We’re closing!”

Minseok grabbed the pitcher first. Baekhyun grinned; that hyung read his mind again. 

“Hey! We’re closing!” Minseok shouted. The ugliest shriek woke the couple up. They looked around, checked their phones and got up. Minseok bowed as they passed the counter and the two baristas behind it. 

Baekhyun ripped his black apron away and threw it onto the back counter. “Finally, for fuck’s sake!”

Minseok laughed and rubbed Baekhyun’s shoulder. He stretched his hand forward and put it in a fist. “Loser cleans the tables. Rock, paper, scissors!”

Baekhyun raised his fist to the level of Minseok’s scissors and got pushed to work. Minseok stayed behind the counter and started cleaning the refrigerated displays. The last two hours had sold well, the amount of wastage was small. They could sell cakes the next morning at half price.

“Do you want anything?” hyung asked.

“Chicken,” Baekhyun replied. He pushed the cleaning carrier against the back wall.

“You ate chicken yesterday.”

Baekhyun waved his hand. “It doesn’t matter.” 

Minseok raised his brows. He packed a couple of chicken sandwiches and threw them into the refrigerator behind him.

“You are going to Jongdae’s place today, right?”

Baekhyun nodded.

“I wish the apartment would be ready already. I miss my bed.”

Baekhyun’s face stiffened when he wiped the tables. Rough, heavy motion removed the sticky rings of soda and coffee stains. The topcoat of the table almost came off too.

“It’s a shame that I don’t have time to take you out to eat something,” Minseok said. He glanced at the clock, too.

Baekhyun grinned with all the compassion. “You can go if you’re in a hurry. Driving to Incheon will take two hours at this hour. Luhan hyung is going to arrive there before you, hyung.”

“I can’t leave you here alone,” Minseok said. “Maybe the traffic will ease during the time we’re cleaning this place.”

Baekhyun gave a small nod. Cleaning the coffee shop was the shittiest part of the day. Doing it together made it better. Preparing the place for the breakfast helped the morning shift.

Baekhyun was thankful for Minseok. Luhan hyung, a poor thing, wasn’t as weak as Baekhyun thought him to be.

* * *

Minseok put the backpack on and the hat on his head. He committed to protecting himself from the wind. It was March, yet the weather was more like in the winter. 

“I’m going now.”

Baekhyun stopped unbuttoning his white collar shirt. Hyung moved to the door.

“Have a good day off. Have fun,” Baekhyun said.

“You too. See you on the weekend.”

“Bye then.” 

Baekhyun sighed and turned towards his locker. He continued to undress. Slowly, button after button. There was a lot of time to spend.

After the coffee shop emptied from the co-workers, the silence got distressing. Funshine was the only place where Baekhyun couldn’t stand it. Dressing room needed to be loud, full of tired laughter from exhausted workers.

Minseok appeared in the doorway again. It was hard for him to leave today. “The sandwiches are in the fridge. Don’t forget!”

Baekhyun laughed. “Go already, hyung.”

Luhan was coming to Seoul for the first time in years. Most likely he’d appreciate if somebody waited for him at the airport.

Minseok frowned. “You should eat proper food, not just those sandwiches.”

“I know! Jongdae is feeding me well!” Baekhyun said and kicked towards him. “Go already, hyung!” 

“Fine. Good night,” Minseok said and left.

Baekhyun threw his shirt to the laundry basket in the corner and got rid of the rest of his clothes. It sucked to shower at the workplace, but he didn’t want to waste water at Jongdae’s or Minseok’s apartments. The renovation in his apartment building was still going on, nobody knew when he could go back home. He had to spend all of his free time in the city. The Junggu library was his savior, it was open until 11 pm every day. 

* * *

The library was getting familiar. Baekhyun had visited the place every day for the past two weeks. He knew which one was the comfiest armchair of them all.

The librarian with fluffy hair and glasses sat behind the service counter, staring at the computer screen. Baekhyun greeted him with a modest bow and turned towards the fiction section.

Baekhyun walked to the shelves which contained mystery novels. He loved good suspense. He grabbed the same book he read yesterday. The chair in the small hall was empty. The whole fiction section breathed silence. Perfect.

Baekhyun sat down and opened the book. He had marked the page by turning the top corner. It was a vulgar thing to do, but the only option he had at that moment.

Just sitting still after a long day felt great. The surrounding silence eased the throbbing headache. The loud chatter of the customers rang still in Baekhyun’s ears. His back was stiff from the unergonomic working position and eight hours of standing. Sleeping on the couch night after night had a part in it, too. Minseok hyung had been kind and cracked his back during the lunch break. 

Time passed in abnormal ways today. Baekhyun looked at the clock more than the book in his hands. Reading wasn’t interesting. Mind returned to the setbacks that happened at work. Many times he had questioned why he worked as a barista, although he hated coffee.

Simple answer; it was his only skill.

The librarian reorganized the shelves nearby. His gaze stayed on Baekhyun for a longer moment. 

Baekhyun changed his position and tried to continue reading. It was hard to concentrate; words were more interesting last night. And the staring disturbed him.

Baekhyun looked at the man with tight eyes. The librarian turned his gaze back to the bookshelves. 

Baekhyun got interested. He hadn’t noticed the librarian before. Of course he acknowledged his presence, but this was the first time when Baekhyun saw his face. Thin, round glasses covered his big eyes. Curly hair partly covered his protruding ears. His expression was glum or concentrated, who knew. 

The book in Baekhyun’s hands called him. A chasing scene in the novel was much more interesting than the tall man in a gray cardigan. 

The librarian moved his cart. Books on the lowest shelf dropped to the floor. He tried to swallow the curse words when he cleaned the mess.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and counted to five. He had listened to rattling dishes and piercing laughter for the past nine hours. He hoped for a small silence. It seemed to be impossible to have peace.

“Is it necessary to bang around right now?!”

“I’m sorry”, the librarian said and pushed the squeaky cart away. Baekhyun followed his drooping back with raised brows and wished that the man would understand to stay away from the fiction section until he had left.

Baekhyun rubbed his face. The lowering blood sugar made him a monster. He had left from work - surprise, surprise - without the chicken sandwiches that Minseok hyung packed for him. He only had a pack of mints in his backpack. Eating them like candy was never a good idea.

“Hey!” Baekhyun yelled.

The librarian was few shelves away. He turned his widened eyes to him and stiffened.

Baekhyun didn’t want to be rude to people, but it was hard to change the basic nature. He was cranky all the time, releasing his feelings on other people made him crankier. The co-workers had learned to cope with him. They appeased the boiling man with a half-minute massage or giving some juice to him. Because the apartment renovation made him anxious, he was downbeat or pissed off, in the danger of explode at any moment. That’s why he didn’t dare to go to Jongdae’s place earlier than right before sleeping time. Just not to ruin the friend’s night with his tense mood. 

Baekhyun tried to soften his voice. “Is the canteen open?” 

“It closed an hour ago.”

Baekhyun sighed. He was so hungry. The only way was to go out to eat. Just the thought of noise from surrounding customers made him cringe. It was pointless go back to the coffee shop just for the sandwiches. 

The librarian stared at Baekhyun. His mouth opened two times before he actually spoke. “Should I get something for you?”

“There’s no need, thank you.”

Baekhyun turned the page. It was a message; he wanted to read in peace. The man with his cart walked away. 

Baekhyun managed to read three pages before the fluffy-haired man came back. He had no confidence in his steps. A giant behaving like a mouse. The nameplate on the cardigan revealed his name. Park Chanyeol.

“H-here is an apple and protein bar”, Chanyeol said and cleared his throat. Baekhyun shook his head. He couldn’t take it. At least without paying.

“I’m okay”, Baekhyun said, but when he met Chanyeol’s brown, wet eyes, he somehow ended up taking the snacks. He had 10 000 won in his pocket, he offered it for change. Chanyeol didn’t accept the money and left.

Baekhyun squeezed the protein bar, not able to gather his thoughts. That random act of kindness was unearned. 

“Th-thank y-you!”

Baekhyun covered his mouth. He never stuttered like that.

* * *

The bitter smell of tea was the first thing Baekhyun smelled. He walked into the kitchen and greeted Jongdae with a sigh. The same-aged friend in pajamas had a wide smile on his face.

“Good evening,” he said, leering Baekhyun from the head to toes.

Baekhyun took a glass from the upper cabinet. The protein bar that Park offered was too sweet. He had emptied his water bottle, and he never dared to ask for more. Chanyeol was too kind, and Baekhyun didn’t want to bother him.

“How was work?” Jongdae asked.

“Same shit as usual.”

“How was the library?”

The library was just a library. A place with books and more books. Baekhyun smiled, letting his teeth show.

“I left the sandwiches in the fridge again. Sorry about that.”

“I can’t with you, Byun,” Jongdae said with an overdramatic voice. “I’m not going to thrash any of the packages anymore! Good luck putting stuff in and out during the busiest hours if your late-night snack is taking all the space!”

Baekhyun lowered his shoulders. “Same head day and night. I can’t remember everything.”

Jongdae hummed. “There’s a lot of going in your mind,” he said, and ruffled Baekhyun’s bleached hair.

“I will hang the master-builder from his balls if he stalls renovation once more. It’s not right to keep the residents away from their homes for this long.”

“Do you get a refund from it?” Jongdae asked.

“Of course. But it won’t replace the lost peace.”

“That’s true.” Dae patted Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Good night.”

Baekhyun searched his toothbrush and walked to the bathroom. The tired reflection greeted him. Dissatisfaction showed far. He hadn’t always been like that. He had taken care of his appearance, but lately too much had happened. Having no proper place to recover from the work and clear his mind was affecting him. He had nobody to open up. He didn’t want to burden Jongdae or Minseok hyung with his problems or deep thoughts. It was better to keep co-workers only as co-workers, even though they were long-time friends from school.

The messy living situation was temporary. The water damage that happened upstairs messed up Baekhyun’s kitchen. Luckily, the damaged area wasn’t wider. If he had to empty the whole apartment, he would be three times more pissed off. There was no running water at the moment and the bedroom was full of furniture, so it was better to sleep at the friend’s places.

After washing up, Baekhyun returned to the living room. Jongdae had made the bed on the couch, making sure that it was comfortable and homey. Baekhyun was more than grateful that he didn’t have to sleep outside or pay himself sick just to stay in a three-star hotel.

Baekhyun pulled the covers on top of him and closed his eyes. Jongdae was speaking on the phone in the bedroom and kept making overly cute noises. Though it made Baekhyun sick, it was great to see Jongdae in love.

The lonely feeling came always before sleeping. Although Baekhyun realized that living was only for himself, he missed something. He had a job and friends but hadn’t met the one.

Baekhyun was very selective with his love partners. If a person pleased his eyes and heart, and he showed interest to him, the blooming relationship crashed into Baekhyun’s difficult personality. He was a temperamental idiot, but he understood it and worked for it. He didn’t shout to the customers (although he wanted to) and he behaved respectfully in the public (if he wasn’t hungry). During the school years, he had suffered a lot because of his short temper. Nowadays he could laugh at those mishaps. He had learned from his mistakes.

If Jongdae was using all the sleeping hours to sweet-talk to his lady, he would get vexed in the morning. The thought of it amused Baekhyun. Together they could curse out loud and judge their shiny, faked customer service -smiles.

Baekhyun closed his eyes, thanked God from the day, apologized for his ugly language, and promised to be better Byun Baekhyun, who hopefully gets to sleep in his bed soon.

Not that Dae’s luxury couch was faulty by any means.


	2. Chapter 2

Baekhyun opened the refrigerator and picked up the forgotten sandwiches. He threw it in the bin and moved the cakes to the display. He placed the discount sign next to them. Few customers preferred to start their day with something sweet rather than a proper breakfast. Baekhyun used to be like that.

Jongdae was doing his magic with the eggs in the kitchen, Baekhyun prepared fresh orange juice for the hungry customers. Their coffee shop was the only one on the block which served western breakfast. The people around the little mall seemed to appriciate it. They had many regulars; Baekhyun was in the good terms with almost everybody. 

The smell of fresh bread floated in the air. Jongdae stepped out from the kitchen with a tray in his hands. He placed it on the end of the buffet table and smiled.

“Funshine sunshine!” 

“In your ass,” Baekhyun continued. The screeching sound of the juicer did not ruin Jongdae’s beaming complexion. 

Eight minutes until the opening. Registers were open, so were the coffee machines. The breakfast table was missing only the scrambled eggs. Jongdae liked to serve it three minutes before opening the doors, just to keep it fresh. Baekhyun didn’t comment on it, just thought about the oven full of eggs. 

Jongdae stole a cup of coffee from the machine. He was cautious enough to sip it two meters away from Baekhyun. If he’d gotten closer, he’d get smacked. The blond barista had trained his fist.

“Let’s go to the gym after work,” Jongdae said. “I’ll take you to eat after that. You have been living with bread for a week.” 

Baekhyun turned the machine off, scratched his ear and muttered. His suggestion wasn’t awful, but the book he read last night was still in progress. The story had rolled around in his mind whole morning. He wanted to know the resolution of it.

Jongdae gazed Baekhyun from head to his toes. He shook his head and clicked his tongue. “You are withering in my eyes. You’re so pale all the time. Maybe you have a vitamin deficiency.” 

Baekhyun gasped out loud and lifted his hand to his chest. “Are you saying that our sandwiches don’t have enough nutrition?” His offended expression turned into a playful smirk. But Jongdae’s eyes didn’t sparkle in a usual way.

“They don’t help that much from the refrigerator!” 

“I ate an apple yesterday,” Baekhyun said. The librarian with round glasses, Chanyeol, had offered his snacks. He had noticed too, how the lowering blood sugar made him a monster. How embarrassing. 

“Let me buy you a proper dinner tonight.”

Baekhyun waved his hand to refuse. This friend had done so much for him. How he ever could pay it back. 

“I’m insisting on it. I’m going to feed you so well that you’ll have to roll out from the restaurant.”

Baekhyun smiled. The thought was golden. “Let’s go, then. But I’m buying. I’m owning you too much already.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Jongdae said. He shook Baekhyun from his shoulder. “You’re my friend and friends owe nothing to each other.”

Baekhyun hadn’t earned a friend like him. He was grateful that Dae kept watching after him. It was impossible for him to take care of his friends. He had always been the person who walked to the wrong places and forgot to eat on time. 

Jongdae grabbed a glass and filled it with orange juice. He gave it to Baekhyun and raised his brow. 

Baekhyun drank. The product was fresh and tasty, no wonder the customers liked it so much. Freshly made and full of vitamins, at least it made Jongdae happy.

“Should we go to eat something with Minseok and Luhan hyungs this weekend? We both have a morning shift on Saturday,” Baekhyun asked. The suggestion was spontaneous. He hadn’t met Luhan in years. Hyung had moved back to China after he graduated from the University of Seoul. 

Finally, Jongdae’s eyes sparkled. “Let’s go play billiards after that!” 

“Don’t get too excited, Kim.”

Jongdae pressed the juicer back on. He drank the rest of his coffee and placed the cup on the dishwasher rack. He cleaned the chef’s jacket he wore and made sure that he had no scrambled eggs on the Funshine’s logo or his name tag. 

Baekhyun followed him, shaking his head. The friend was ready to charm the customers, though it was the food’s job. The coffee shop had a colorful character in the area, thanks to their staff. 

Jongdae rushed back in with a pan of scrambled eggs in his hands. _Showtime_. 

* * *

Baekhyun walked into the hallway of the silent library and looked around. Park Chanyeol sat behind the counter and kept his tired eyes on the computer screen. Clutching the backpack’s straps tighter, Baekhyun passed the counter. He gave a half-formal bow, but the glum man’s gaze didn’t meet him. 

Baekhyun took long steps towards the fiction section. He tried to find the mystery novel that he had read last night. His hand moved across the books, but the right one wasn’t there. On top of that, somebody sat on his favorite chair. 

Baekhyun gave up with the book. He moved a couple of shelves inward. He graved for something bright and eye-catching, no matter what the genre was. His fingers stopped on the yellow-covered book, one syllable name written on the spine. _You._

Baekhyun took the book with him. He walked to the back of the fiction section, chose the place on purpose. The part of the library was peaceful. It compensated the most uncomfortable armchair and windy space.

Baekhyun sat on the chair, placed the water bottle on the table next to him. He hid the backpack behind the chair and reduced his clothing. It was hard to find a comfortable position. He kicked his shoes off and lifted his left leg on the chair, body relaxing.

Baekhyun opened the book and went straight into the first chapter. Fuck the introduction, he wanted action. 

_You, who didn’t let me fall, pushed me down yourself._

Something itched Baekhyun’s neck. He glanced around but saw nobody. It was impossible to see there from the service counter. The closest noises were coming from far. A group of teens was giggling in the bigger hall. 

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. He drowned in the book’s world, forgetting himself for a moment. 

* * *

The spike of pain woke Baekhyun. Slowly he opened his eyes, goosebumps running down his back. His phone had slipped under his butt. He dug it up with shaking hands. He needed to check; his backpack was still between the chair and the window. Thank god. 

The hours had passed fast. Boxing at the gym and a heavy dinner after that had exhausted him. No wonder he had fallen asleep after ten pages of reading. His neck was stiff from the bad sleeping position.

Baekhyun yawned and stretched his body. He opened the book from the page he had left on. His gaze was still foggy. He tried to grab the water bottle, but his fingers pumped to something else.

The plastic cup with the library canteen’s logo had appeared next to his water bottle. It had black liquid and ice cubes in it. 

Baekhyun opened the lid and sniffed it. He let out a faint grunt. Americano. He wanted a coke. 

Baekhyun couldn’t find any marks of a permanent marker on the cup. He searched for a fallen note or anything else. He got nothing.

Baekhyun put the drink back on the table and pushed it as far as possible. It was hard enough to stand the smell of coffee at work.

Baekhyun pushed the table by accident. The drink on the edge dropped to the floor. The poorly placed lid opened and the liquid spread around. 

“Oh shit,” Baekhyun hissed. His belongings were safe at behind the chair. The dark brown puddle kept moving towards the bookshelves. 

Baekhyun pushed his hair back, gathering himself. He needed to get something to clean the mess. The thought of leaving his belongings behind was uncomfortable. He was alone at the back of the fiction section. Still, somebody could take an advance and rob him. If he hadn’t gotten robbed already. Falling asleep on the chair might have been a mistake…

Baekhyun checked his backpack and sighed with relief. Nobody had stolen his wallet or keys. 

One glance towards the coffee puddle made Baekhyun cringe. No can do, he thought, and prepared to embarrass himself. 

The journey to the service counter was long and painful. He sneaked around the place without shoes, looking stupid. Fortunately, the fiction section had emptied. Nobody saw him and his mess. 

“Excuse me.”

Baekhyun kept his hands in front of him. The smile on his face was forceful. It took all his courage to accept his mistakes out loud.

“I need… paper… or something…”

The fluffy-haired man in his grey jumper, Chanyeol, lifted his eyes to Baekhyun. He grabbed a sheet of copy paper and offered it to him. 

Baekhyun shook his head. “I mean like paper towels or microfiber or something… I dropped a cup of coffee on the floor.”

“I’ll clean it,” Chanyeol said, turning towards the computer. He pressed the keyboard few times with his index finger. 

Baekhyun’s heart hurt. The tired eyes and glum expression got his conscience knocking. He had caused the accident, and it was his job to clean it. He was bothering Chanyeol for nothing. 

“I can do it,” he said and placed his hands together like he was begging. His mess, his responsibility.

“I’ll take care of it,” Chanyeol promised. 

Baekhyun took a couple of steps back. The liquid on the floor seemed not to be a big thing. It could wait. He gave the peace that Chanyeol needed for working.

Baekhyun sat down and lifted his legs on the chair. He threw his phone on the table and grabbed the water bottle. His grip was tight, body restless. His cheeks were red from the embarrassment. He should have been more careful. 

Chanyeol pushed the cleaning carrier towards him and scanned the floor with his foggy gaze. With no expression, he measured the damages. He pulled his sleeves up and covered the puddle with disposable cloths. 

Baekhyun covered his face and tried to look somewhere else. The sight of Chanyeol wiping the floor was unbearable. 

Baekhyun held the water bottle tighter. Chanyeol, and his sad eyes, made his stomach ache in a way he hadn’t felt before. 

“I’m sorry. It slipped,” Baekhyun said. Guiltiness poked him for bothering the librarian with extra work.

“Accidents happen,” Chanyeol said, and threw the towels to the trash bin. He stood up and wiped the floor with a damp towel. 

When the floor was clean, Baekhyun dared to look at Chanyeol. He cleared his throat and tried to smile. “Listen… I couldn’t find one book. Has somebody borrowed it?” 

Chanyeol scratched his neck. Baekhyun realized that “one book” wasn’t enough for details. He shared the book’s title and author, told which shelf he had taken it. 

“I can check. Should I reserve it for you?” 

“There’s no need, thanks,” Baekhyun said. He had no library card. He never had one. “Forget that I asked.”

“Do you want a new drink?” Chanyeol asked. 

“No, thanks.”

Baekhyun shook his water bottle. He didn’t want to admit that he didn’t like coffee. Wasn’t the canteen closed? If the open hours hadn’t changed…

There was no guarantee was the Americano for Baekhyun, anyway. It was possible that somebody had just tossed it there.

“The library is closed this Sunday,” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun almost dropped the water bottle. Where in the hell would he spend his free time then? 

“I thought I should tell you beforehand,” Chanyeol said and moved behind the cleaning carrier. “You have been visiting for the past three weeks.”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

Baekhyun took his backpack out. He had bought an apple and a protein bar. He wanted to return the snacks, just to be even.

Chanyeol didn’t accept them. Baekhyun didn’t move his offering hand.

“Please. You look like you haven’t eaten in a year.”

Chanyeol grinned. He took the protein bar. “Likewise.”

Baekhyun squeezed the apple in his hand and wondered was he really paler than usual. 

“The library at Yongsang-gu is the closest. It’s ten minutes away if you use the subway,” Chanyeol said before he left with the cleaning carrier.

You can get to the Yongsang-gu library via metro in ten minutes”, Chanyeol said before he walked away with the cart.

Baekhyun put the apple back in the backpack and hummed. Chanyeol was so kind, though he looked like he wasn’t handling life better than Baekhyun himself.

* * *

Baekhyun greeted Jongdae with a long grunt as he passed the kitchen. He threw his backpack onto the couch and fell down, thoughts in the tall librarian. He had embarrassed himself in front of that man at least a hundred times.

What kind of person Chanyeol thought him to be…

Baekhyun stiffened. He didn’t care what other people thought about him; he didn’t even care about people. Not that he was hating them, it was more like an equal disliking.

“Who stole your heart?” Jongdae asked. The late night didn’t affect the brightness in his voice.

Baekhyun lifted his middle finger up. Only thing that he had lost was his pride.

Jongdae kept grinning. He was in a playful mood. “Did you have a date?” 

“I was in the library,” Baekhyun reminded. The sadness in Chanyeol’s eyes made him sick. He had to smack himself to forget him.

It didn’t help.

Jongdae tapped a place in front of him. “You can’t sleep if you don’t eat something.”

Baekhyun moved to the kitchen and crashed on the chair. Jongdae pushed a bowl of cereals to him and poured milk in it. Baekhyun grabbed the spoon but never ate.

“The library is closed on Sunday,” Baekhyun said. His voice was full of longing; he had two places forbidden from him (for one day).

“You can stay here always. It’s not a problem.” 

Baekhyun smiled. He wanted to pay back Dae’s kindness. If he wanted, he could push away his crankiness and enjoy his friend’s company. He could be alone later.

“Let’s watch movies and dream about the vacation,” he said. 

“Sounds good,” Jongdae replied and smiled back. “Now eat. I’m worried about your health.”

“I’m too,” Baekhyun said. Returning home made him anxious. Nobody’d look after him. Maybe it was time to download an app to remind him to eat on time. Not that he was reluctant to take care of himself, he just forgot to eat when he had other things to do.

“Come straight home on Sunday,” Jongdae said. “No need to sulk in the library. You can do it here.”

Baekhyun laughed. “I don’t sulk. I’m just in my thoughts.”

Jongdae raised his brow, eyes sparkling again. He was the worst at hiding his curiosity. Baekhyun wasn’t good either, but he was better.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Do you know who Park Chanyeol is?” 

“No. Never heard.”

Baekhyun hummed. He didn’t know either. Like he didn’t know why he wanted to know. 

“So? Who is he?”

“He’s working at the library,” Baekhyun said and rubbed his stomach. Unusual feeling in the stomach remained. Was it because of the sugary cereals or the librarian’s sadness? Was it pity? 

“He’s a bit weirdo,” Baekhyun continued and looked behind Jongdae. There were lots of fingerprints on the cabinet doors.

“Aren’t we all,” Jongdae said. He snapped his fingers to get Hyun’s attention. He pointed to the cereal bow.

Baekhyun put the spoon in the bowl and started eating. The smile on Jongdae’s face got wider when the first spoonful went into Baekhyun’s mouth.

“That’s my boy.”


	3. Chapter 3

Two familiar hyungs stood on the sidewalk, talking to each other. The block had changed little from the last time Luhan visited Seoul. Myeongdong shopping center had gotten a couple of new stores. Area surrounding the little mall or Funshine had changed the most.

Baekhyun yelled to get friends’ attention. He tapped Jongdae few times on his arm before he speeded up. Dae, tired from working, kept his steady pace.

Luhan spread his hands out. He laughed when Baekhyun pressed against him, squeezing him with all of his power.

Jongdae reached the group and greeted Minseok with a quick high five. Baekhyun didn’t want to move from Luhan’s embrace. He showed his teeth to Jongdae to keep him away from hyung.

"So nice to see you guys", Luhan said and squeezed Baekhyun even harder. 

Baekhyun smiled. Hyung looked healthy, well-being. He was still slim but got much manlier, like all of them had.

Baekhyun placed his head on Luhan’s shoulder. “It has been too long.”

The group of four wild men from the University of Seoul had gotten together. Last time they’d been together was three years ago. Time had made its magic; they weren’t that wild anymore. Baekhyun, the extrovert, loved being home alone. Jongdae, former expert in one-night stands, was in a stable relationship and spent the nights by sweet-talking on the phone with his significant other. Responsible Minseok hyung was paying his apartment loan, and the rumors told that Luhan was engaged.

Luhan wrapped his hand around Baekhyun’s shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Shit”, Baekhyun replied with a rude tone but smiled after that.

“I heard about the renovation. That sucks.”

“It’s almost done,” Baekhyun said. The renovation was late from the start. If everything had gone as planned, he would have been home a long time ago.

Jongdae laughed. “Don’t say. You’ll have to sleep on my couch two more weeks.”

Baekhyun shook his head with wide eyes. He hoped, not.

“So, how’s Beijing?” he returned the question. He was curious about Luhan’s current relationship status. Was the hinted engagement on Weibo just bullshit or was he indeed taking the relationship to the next level. The wedding bells had been ringing since last summer.

“You really proposed her, right?”

Luhan’s smile was faint, expression subject to interpretation. Baekhyun turned his head away and closed his mouth, looking around. The shopping centre in front of them had gigantic neon signs on the walls, tempting them to spend their money in various ways. Myeongdong wasn’t a match for the little mall, but it had pretty good restaurants. And it was further away from Funshine.

Jongdae gasped. “Did you break up?”

Baekhyun glanced at him, wishing for some tact. The matter seemed painful. 

“No, we didn’t. It’s just that my parents are against the marriage.”

“Fuck them,” Baekhyun said. “Go to Vegas and elope.” 

Luhan laughed and squeezed him tighter. “You could do that.”

Baekhyun let out a soulless laughter. Las Vegas wasn’t for him. There were too much people. And he didn’t even have a fiancé.

Jongdae pointed towards A-door of the shopping center. Baekhyun’s gaze caught on the tall, fluffy-haired man who kept his hands in the pockets of his oversized coat. Thin, round glasses covered his sorrowful eyes. Park Chanyeol from the library. He kept his eyes on the ground, but he was aware of his surroundings.

The conversation went on, but the words stayed in the background. Park stole his total attention.

Two more steps and they had passed each other. 

Baekhyun had to look behind. Chanyeol raised his head and pulled a phone out of his pocket. 

Jongdae turned Baekhyun back toward the front doors. “Don’t even try to cancel at the last minute. This was your idea.”

“Yeah, I know,” Baekhyun said. It was better that Jongdae stayed in the belief that he wanted to go back home. He didn’t want to hear any mockery about his acquaintances. Because he had no “acquaintances”.

Baekhyun looked over his shoulder once more. Chanyeol wasn’t around anymore. He wiped the librarian out of his mind. He wanted to enjoy from Luhan’s company when he had the chance. Hyung was flying back home in three days.

* * *

Baekhyun slept at the back of the library, in the bumpy armchair. He had his pulled his legs up and squeezed the yellow-covered book against his chest. _You_. The winter coat covered his shoulders, blocking the cold air from the window behind him.

“Hey. Dear customer.”

Baekhyun opened his eyes to shaking. Chanyeol stood in front of him, letting go of his shoulder. He backed few steps, giving Baekhyun his space.

Baekhyun lifted himself up and wiped his mouth. He opened the book from the spread he had left on. He tried to straighten up the folded corner of the page.

Chanyeol frowned. Marking the page in that way was unacceptable.

“We’re closing”, Chanyeol said. His soft voice wasn’t compatible with the expression he had.

“Oh, yeah, of course”, Baekhyun muttered avoiding the eye contact. He massaged his neck and looked around, searching for his shoes. The sleeping position wasn’t good for his aching body, but somehow he found himself knocked out at the back of the library.

Mister Park was standing in the way. Baekhyun hissed to him, and the long legs moved away. He put his shoes on and pulled the zipper of the coat up.

“The book you asked earlier got returned today. Do you want to borrow it?” Chanyeol asked. 

Baekhyun lifted his eyes to the librarian and blinked couple times. He did not know what Park was talking about.

“That mystery novel.” 

“Oh… No, thank you”, Baekhyun replied. He didn’t care about it anymore. The yellow-covered _You_ had much more suspense in it. Though he hadn’t gotten further than the page 25.

“I’ll find it on the shelf if I need to,” he continued. It was needless to Chanyeol to know that he didn’t have a library card, or didn’t want one. Using the services of the Junggu library was unlikely after he’d gotten back home.

Chanyeol stared at the book on Baekhyun’s lap. “Do you want to borrow that?”

Baekhyun shook his head and stood up. He grabbed his backpack from the floor and returned the book back to the shelf. Chanyeol walked behind him.

Baekhyun glanced behind him few times. Chanyeol was still following him, step after step. He tried to lose him by walking in between random shelves.

“I need to lock the front doors,” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun slowed down. How embarrassing, again. He, an idiot still half- asleep, had been thinking something else. Park didn’t care about him, he cared only about the library.

Chanyeol caught him up. Baekhyun looked at him, holding his stomach. The sick feeling came back every time he saw the man’s glum expression. Maybe that glumness was exhaustion or personal problems. And Baekhyun still did not understand why he was interested.

“I know that it’s not my business, but this library is not exactly for sleeping…” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun’s face turned red, stomach turned over again. His gaze dropped to the floor. He had lost his face in front of the librarian too many times, now.

“Exercising and dinner; terrible combination,” Baekhyun whispered, barely loud enough.

The corner of Chanyeol’s mouth wavered. That reminded much of a Baekhyun’s smile. 

“And no legs on the armchair,” Chanyeol added. 

Baekhyun pressed his head down and cursed himself in several ways. He didn’t care about the rules and did what he wanted, causing trouble to other people. He had been problematic since his childhood. Now he was old enough to acknowledge it and tried to behave better.

“But I won’t tell anybody,” Chanyeol said. “Let’s keep it between us.”

Baekhyun pressed his lips together and slowed his pace. The long hallway ended. The exit was just meters away. Cold air leaked out from the doorway.

“It’s snowing”, Chanyeol said. 

Baekhyun pulled the hood on and put cloves on. He had no other choice than to go out. It was already past 11pm, Park’s hours were full.

Chanyeol fumbled the lock with his clumsy fingers. He tried to close the door, but it never stayed locked. He swore out loud, looking like he would rip the whole door out if it didn’t work. Uncooperative door raised his blood pressure, making his face turn red.

Baekhyun got mesmerized by his actions. He hadn’t met many people who he could relate to. He winced when Chanyeol turned his eyes on him. What he should say? Good night? See you?

“Welcome again,” Chanyeol said. He closed the door, it got locked this time.

Baekhyun bowed for a goodbye, regretting that he said nothing. Half-formal bow was still better than nothing.

Chanyeol walked towards the service counter at the other side of the long hallway. He never looked back.

Baekhyun snorter. He wanted to feel special, but Chanyeol treated him like anybody, a random customer. He turned around and left, clenching his jaw. His stomach was still hurting. Maybe he had eaten too much earlier in the afternoon, or Park made him feel sick; the compassion didn’t fit him.

Curiosity took Baekhyun over. He looked over his shoulder once more. Chanyeol had stopped halfway. He had taken his glasses off and wiped his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, Baekhyun left the property. Jongdae was probably waiting for him.

* * *

The bitter smell of coffee disturbed Baekhyun. Hyung’s mug was too close to him. And it was huge enough to hold three cups of coffee in it. He pressed his temples and stared at the open Facebook page on Luhan’s computer screen.

“Park Chanyeol,” Luhan read and moved his finger on the screen. There weren’t that much information about him. Only the birthday was public.

“He’s born in the same year as you.”

“I can read, hyung,” Baekhyun muttered. The profile picture contained an image of a short-haired man without classes. Wide smile on his face, lifeless eyes, where the only glimmering thing was the reflection of light. Baekhyun knew that smile; it was fake. His profile picture had been similar. Then he had to change it because he didn’t want to see the truth.

“Send a friend request,” Luhan said, exhaling his coffee-breath on Baekhyun’s face. He moved further just to take another sip from his stinking coffee. Soon after he returned to lean against Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“I’m not going to!” Baekhyun shouted. “I don’t even know him.”

“Aha! You’re a stalker!”

Luhan turned the laptop towards him. He digged all the information from the page. He liked to listen to rock and followed BBC’s news page.

“This man is boring,” hyung sighed.

Baekhyun grinned. Yes, he was. Worked at the library, sulked behind the counter when he wasn’t driving customers out. The miserable Park. Maybe more miserable than Baekhyun was. 

Things were good in Baekhyun’s life. He had a roof on top of him (essentially), he got money from the permanent job (a bit shitty) and he had friends (plentiful two - three, if Luhan who visited the country every other year counted too). He wasn’t using drugs or didn’t have debt. 

“Why you are interested in him?” Luhan asked and moved away from the page.

“Can’t I?”

Baekhyun pressed the backspace. He wanted to stare at the Facebook page’s cover image. It was a beautiful, snowy landscape. Sun shined and made the piles of snow glitter. Winter wonderland. 

“You can”, Luhan said and hugged him. “But you usually aren’t.” 

Baekhyun sighed. Right. That glum face didn’t vanish from his mind. Wouldn’t be a surprise to dream about it. 

“Ask him to grab a coffee with you,” Luhan suggested. 

“I hate coffee.” Baekhyun glared at the cup next to him. The steaming had stopped.

“You know what I mean”, Luhan said, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair. “Be brave.”

“I don’t want to.”

Baekhyun closed the web browser. He wasn’t that interested in Chanyeol. He just wanted to know why he was so dull all the time. It was disturbing. 

“Do you need a friend?” 

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. Jongdae and Minseok hyung were enough for him.

“You need intimacy”, Luhan said and held Baekhyun tighter. “It’s humane. Normal.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes. Maybe he did. From somebody who would understand him and his terrible temperament. Somebody who wouldn’t ask unnecessary questions or tried to cheer up. Somebody who would just hold him and churn in self-pity with him to the day when life wouldn’t be that irritating. 

“I just miss home. It’s bothersome to sleep other’s couch.”

“You need to go speak your mind to the repairmen. Maybe they’ll start working faster.” Luhan laughed and patted Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

Baekhyun pursed his lips. He tried to avoid yelling to the people. It caused only problems. 

* * *

“Good night, Hyunie,” Eunji said and left before Baekhyun could reply to her. He turned back towards his locker and went through it. He had much stuff in it, but no umbrella. It was pouring, and he had to walk for ten minutes. He had a towel in his backpack, though.

Baekhyun closed his locker and pulled the hood on. He walked to the back door, remembering the tuna sandwiches in the refrigerator. He stopped to think would he need them, but Jongdae had brainwashed him well. With drooping shoulders, he picked them up.

“Bye,” he said to the empty coffee shop and moved outside, to the mother nature’s embrace. The sky cried, water drops spattered on the parka’s hood with force. It had started to smell like spring, yet it was too cold to abandon the winter coat.

Baekhyun’s mood was decent. He wasn’t that tired; he had enjoyed his day offs. The whole yesterday had gone by with Luhan. He had spent the whole yesterday with hyung. The arrangement was perfect; hyung didn’t have to be alone when Minseok was at work, and Baekhyun didn’t have to roll around Junggu the whole day.

Despite the pouring rain, the ten-minute walk was swiftly over. Baekhyun pushed through the front door and shook the raindrops away. He opened the wet coat and walked with determined steps into the long hallway.

The service counter was empty. The office chair had placed under the desk, the computer screen wasn’t on.

Baekhyun turned to the fiction section and circled around the mystery novels. He couldn’t find the book he had read before. Somebody was sitting on the bumpy armchair at the back of the fiction section.

 _You_ , the yellow-covered book, was in the shelf. Baekhyun took it with him and searched for a new place to occupy. The only pleasing place was the hard tables with harder chairs. He took his coat off and put it on the backrest of another chair.

Baekhyun opened the book from the page he had marked and leaned against his hand. His eyes didn’t land on the text.

Chanyeol was organizing the books few meters away. He was wearing a dark grey sweater today. Did Chanyeol love sweaters or why he wore always one? Sometimes it was a cardigan, sometimes it was a full sweater, with long collar, or short one. Knitted from wool, and always gray.

Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun, but his face stayed expressionless. He looked at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun pushed his wet hair back and started to read. The drop fell on the page and Park saw it. Perfect timing. There he was, once again, damaging the library’s property. 

Chanyeol walked closer, pulling the squeaky cart with him. He grabbed the hardcover mystery novel and turned it in his hands.

“Are you still interested?” 

Baekhyun took the book from him and thanked with a gentle bow. He pulled the jumper sleeves down, because he was cold and he didn’t want to keep the wet jacket on. 

“Do you want a cup of coffee? Or tea?” Chanyeol asked. 

“No, thank you”, Baekhyun said and put the book on the table. Reading You was in process, and the canteen was closed at that hour. 

Chanyeol nodded and walked away, Baekhyun’s gaze glued on his back. Pushing the cart, he chose the right shelf and unloaded the cart. He muttered the numbers out loud and put the books in the right place.

Baekhyun bit his index finger. Park didn’t talk with anybody else. He didn’t even look at the other customers. He glanced at Baekhyun at least five times during the few minutes he was around. Baekhyun knew. because he was watching him all that time.

A breeze wavered Baekhyun. He had made a mistake by leaving the thinner jacket in his locker. The spring weather outside was deceptive, although he had tried to study it as best as he could. Plus degrees had come, but the rain was cold and the wind piercing. It had frozen him.

“Hot chocolate? Do you want hot chocolate?”

The voice nearby got Baekhyun to lift his head up. Chanyeol was standing again in front of him.

“The canteen is closed, but I can get you something to drink if it makes you warm.” 

Baekhyun blinked. He couldn’t figure out why Chanyeol was so nice to him. And he couldn’t understand why he had no balls to tell Park to leave him alone. If it had been anybody else, he would only look irritated and ignore him.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Baekhyun said.

“Your lips are blue.” 

Baekhyun grinned, thinking about what he should do. Should he go to disturb Minseok hyung’s free night or go to the public sauna to warm up? Jongdae was in Yongsanggu, having a date night with his prettier half, Hyejin.

“There’s no need”, he repeated. 

Chanyeol nodded and apologized for the interference. He walked behind the service counter with his empty cart. He took his place in front of the computer. With no expression on his face, he worked.

Baekhyun was watching him from afar. _You_ wasn’t interesting at all; _he_ was. 


	4. Chapter 4

The tables that Baekhyun chose were near the service counter. Fluffy-haired Chanyeol had immersed into his work on the computer. His long fingers moved on the keyboard, and Baekhyun could only guess what he was writing. He hoped for secret glances, but Chanyeol couldn’t detach his attention from work. Impressing. He could work under the pressure.

Baekhyun searched his pockets. He had no receipts or notes with him. Night after night, he forgot to pick up something to use as a bookmark. He apologized in his mind and folded the top corner of the page. He closed the yellow-covered book like nothing had happened.

The time was running out; the library was closing after 30 minutes. Baekhyun didn’t want to leave yet. Deok hyung was at Jongdae’s place, and he didn’t want to interfere. One option was to go to eat at the convience store.

A hiss got out from Chanyeol’s mouth, it got Baekhyun’s attention. He squeezed the book in his hand and lifted himself. With a long neck, he tried to leer what made Chanyeol sound so sinister. The annoyance had flashed on his tired face. 

Baekhyun stood up and let go of the book. He sneaked towards the counter and leered over the wide desk. The reason for Chanyeol’s reaction was on the computer screen, the notification had popped up. Program not responding.

Baekhyun’s steps were light and silent. He got to the service counter without noticing. When he placed his hands on the desk, he got attention. Chanyeol turned towards him and looked into his eyes for the first time.

“Can I help you?”

“Can I?” Baekhyun asked. 

Chanyeol frowned, his mouth twitching. “Can you?” 

Baekhyun leaned forward and pointed out the right keyboard combo. He got his expertise; he had played with powerless computers all his youth. Then he got tired and bought the proper one.

“Task Manager,” he said and pointed the screen. “Forcing the closing might lose unsaved files, but you don’t have to wait all night for it to respond again. Just click on the right programs and press end task.”

“Thanks”, Chanyeol said. 

Baekhyun sat on top of the wide counter. He pulled his legs up on the table and crossed them. Chanyeol’s work was interesting, and he wanted to be his tech support if the program wasn’t still responding.

Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun with a raised brow. He shook his head with a slight movement and turned back towards the computer. He opened the library software again, with too many clicks. Slow-moving circle appeared on the faded screen. It was close to crash again.

A faint smile rose on Baekhyun’s lips. Chanyeol gave a glimpse of his emotions, he wasn’t all dead inside. The irritation towards the not-working machine was the same as it had been towards the front door’s lock. And Baekhyun admired it.

“Do you like your job?” he asked.

“Do you like yours?”

“It depends”, Baekhyun replied. He didn’t love his job, but he wasn’t hating it. He liked his co-workers and stable income. And he was grateful for Funshine’s working atmosphere. The place had humour even though Baekhyun didn’t. The job would be perfect without the smell of coffee and rattling dishes.

“Do you want to borrow something?” Chanyeol asked, glancing at the clock. 25 minutes until closing.

“No, I don’t.”

Baekhyun jumped down. He returned to the tables and grabbed the books with him. He returned them back to shelves, making sure that the place was just right that Chanyeol wouldn’t have to reorganize the shelves because of him.

The fiction section was empty. The silence was calming and Baekhyun’s mood light. He walked in between the shelves and brushed his finger on the books’ spines. When he found something different, he took the book out and read the back cover. He memorized the authors and titles for later.

It was magical to walk around the quiet space. Baekhyun enjoyed from the exclusive opportunity. The fiction section felt like it was his property, home. It should have been Chanyeol’s, but the miserable Park was invisible. He just roamed around with his book cart and stared Baekhyun from the cover of the shelves. He was soulless, and Baekhyun lived the library.

“Fuck this machine!”

The low rasp broke the momentum. Baekhyun walked closer to the counter and bit his finger. Chanyeol was clicking the hell out of the PC’s mouse. It just messed up the computer even more.

Chanyeol turned towards Baekhyun. He sighed and dropped his shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine”, Baekhyun said. It was nice to see that the tired man had feelings.

Chanyeol force closed the program (again) and turned the computer off. Baekhyun looked at the clock, he had fifteen minutes left. 

”Lee Minhyun! It’s time to go home!”

Baekhyun turned his head towards the non-fiction section. The youngster studied in the library more than other students in Junggu. Maybe he liked to use the services of the city. Minhyun… Hyun… Baekhyun was a bit amused; he also was a late-night-user-Hyun-of-the-library.

“We’re closing,” Chanyeol said. He walked towards the non-fiction section, taking long steps.

Baekhyun moved to the tables and put his shoes on. The coat on the chair had dried during the hours, thank god. He tried to see was it still raining, but the surrounding darkness made it impossible.

Baekhyun sat down. He wasn’t going anywhere until Chanyeol would lead him out. Jongdeok hyung was still at Jongdae’s place, and he didn’t want to hear them fighting over something stupid. It just would make him feel awkward when he had no place to run away from the mutual shouting.

The hunger crumbled Baekhyun’s stomach. He had to eat something before sleeping, but he had nothing in his backpack. A bowl of ramen sounded tempting, although the salt would bloat him. Eunji would get a good laughter from the sight in the morning.

Baekhyun kept rummaging around his backpack. He didn’t even have that apple, which had been rolling around for days.

Lee Minhyun passed Baekhyun, walking backwards. He signed with rapid movements to Chanyeol. “Hyung,” he tried many times, but Yeol just kept tapping his wristwatch. Baekhyun smirked; the youngster knew that the library was still open for ten minutes.

“Go home,” Chanyeol said and waved his hands, looking stern. Minhyun snorted and turned around, marching his way out.

Baekhyun got interested; was Lee Minhyun fully deaf or could he hear something…

Chanyeol stopped at the tables and crashed down. “He always stays too late… Our Minhyunie…” 

Baekhyun let go of his backpack. The worry and caring in Chanyeol’s tone made his heart race. More emotions.

“He’s seventeen”, Chanyeol continued. 

Baekhyun nodded. The youngster probably had his curfew. It was nice to see that Chanyeol taking care of him. It was also nice to see that Minhyun indeed studied, not played video games like most of the people did. Like Baekhyun had done during his time in school…

“So, what brings you here?” Chanyeol asked, sounding more bright.

“I’m evacuated. There’s a renovation in my apartment building.”

Chanyeol nodded. “Are you coming tomorrow?” 

“Yes, I am. For a week, two more.”

Chanyeol stayed quiet and stared into the distance. In the normal setting, the silence was something that Baekhyun appreciated, but now it was just awkward. Baekhyun didn’t dare to move, though he knew he needed to stand up and leave, like Minhyun had.

“I studied architectures, but I don’t like drawing. It’s too complicated. This job is better,” Chanyeol said and turned to look at Baekhyun. “We’re closing now.”

Baekhyun stood up and followed the taller to the front door. The hallway felt always longer that it really was. His steps were slow, he stalled as much as he could. He didn’t want to leave, not just yet.

It was still pouring, Baekhyun thought as he looked outside. Puddles of water glimmered in the light of the streetlamps, raindrops whipping the ground with force. He pulled his hood on.

Chanyeol stopped in the halfway through. He fixed the position of his glasses and tried to see the weather. “Do you need an umbrella?”

“Do you?” Baekhyun asked. He stopped few steps after Chanyeol.

“Okay, wait here”, Chanyeol said and returned to the service counter. He looked around the space, couldn’t find anything. Scratching his head, he walked into the backroom.

Baekhyun glanced at the front door, wondering should he just leave, disappear from Chanyeol. But he didn’t want to.

Chanyeol came back with a black, enormous umbrella. Baekhyun cursed in his mind. That sick feeling that nibbled at his insides again.

“I’m good.”

“Just take it. You can return it tomorrow.”

Baekhyun took the umbrella and bowed gently as a thank you. The corner of Chanyeol’s mouth raised up for a second. Baekhyun stiffened up. More emotions.

“I’ll do that,” Baekhyun said.

The last three meters were painful. Baekhyun held from his stomach when he walked out. He opened the umbrella and turned towards Chanyeol. Yeol’s tightening expression made him feel compassion pain, though he was the same. A man who wanted to leave from work on time and go home to enjoy peace.

Chanyeol fumbled the lock with his fingers. It was acting up again. “See you tomorrow.”

Baekhyun didn’t move. The miserable Park pulled him like a magnet.

“Byun Baekhyun… that’s my name.”

Baekhyun covered his mouth. Revealing his identity wasn’t part of the plan. He was only a dear customer, and he wanted to stay as one.

“Park Chanyeol”, Yeol said and finally got the lock to work properly. 

“I know”, Baekhyun smirked and pointed the nameplate on Chanyeol’s cardigan. “It’s written there.”

“Yes, of course”, Chanyeol said, sounding absent. He pulled himself back inside. “See you tomorrow, Byun Baekhyun.”

“Bye”, Baekhyun said and turned around. The library door closed, leaving silence behind. The raindrops fell on the surface of the umbrella, lifting the ambiance. Chanyeol walked towards the service counter, sighing heavily. He took his glasses off, wiped his eyes and looked around like he didn’t know what to do next.

Baekhyun turned around and walked out from the property, holding his stomach. Park Chanyeol was affecting him more every day, and it wasn’t a good thing.

It really wasn’t.

* * *

The breakfast sell of Funshine was such a hassle every morning. Place fulfilled with customers made it loud. The grown men fought over the scrambled eggs and messed up the buffet display, behaving like animals.

Baekhyun stomped the floor two times. He was reaching the exploding point. The customers chattered like it was an afternoon. They didn’t show any signs of sleepiness. Most of them were employees from the little mall who used to grab some breakfast before work. The coffee sold well, and Baekhyun got a headache from it. It wasn’t any quieter in the kitchen. The dishwasher operated loudly, and the two ovens whirred too.

Eunji grabbed from Baekhyun’s hand. “Go take a breath.”

Baekhyun stepped to the backyard and breathed in. The weather was humid, but in a cold way. The air quality getting worse every day; really signs from the spring. Flowers would bloom after a few weeks and the milieu would turn from brown to green.

Baekhyun had spent a night sitting next to Jongdae. The big brother had made him upset with his visit, so they killed Deok hyung in seven different ways, in their imagination, of course. They had slept together on the couch for three hours. Baekhyun didn’t regret that he had been there for his friend, but the lack of sleep made him more monster-like than lowering blood sugar.

Baekhyun wanted to shout, but he suppressed it. He sat on the stair and took deep breaths in. His thoughts were on the upcoming spring. He’d like to cycle around the park during the cherry blossom season and explore the markets during the warm nights. Possibly not alone.

Baekhyun sighed. It wasn’t his fault that the 40-year-old men in suits were fighting over the food. His attitude towards it could be better… Eunji and the boys, fortunately, knew that he needed space to calm down. It was much better to have a rampage on the yard, not break down in front of the customers.

Two minutes in the damp morning was enough. Baekhyun returned inside. Men had gotten their eggs. Loud chatter covered the place, including Baekhyun’s thoughts. His mood was grim, but he needed to smile.

Eunji took her place next to Baekhyun. She kept sighing as she squeezed the empty GN-pan in her hands.

“I can’t believe how bad the highly educated people can behave,” she muttered before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Baekhyun raised his brows. He had thought about that, too. As the academic things fulfilled their brain, the manners and common sense seemed to fall out.

A tall man walked past Funshine, having his hands in the oversized coat’s pockets. Baekhyun focused his sight and noticed his protruding ears.

It was Chanyeol.

Chanyeol, who looked behind him, said something and continued to dash forward. The woman in white pants and slim black heels walked few meters behind him. She didn’t come in, just passed the coffee shop without looking around.

Baekhyun sighed and turned towards the espresso machine. Seeing Chanyeol reminded him of the umbrella. He had forgotten it to Jongdae’s place. He took his phone out and texted Dae, asking him to bring it to him.

“Hyun-ah. I need help!” Eunji shouted.

Baekhyun put his phone back in the pocket and forgot his problems. He needed to work.

* * *

Baekhyun walked down the long hallway of the library and stopped at the service counter. He offered the black umbrella to him.

“Hey. Welcome,” Chanyeol said and took the umbrella, thanking with a faint tone.

Baekhyun hadn’t a need for chatting. He left the librarian alone. His destination was at the back of the fiction section. He turned around the shelves and grabbed You with him. The bumpy armchair was free and the area quiet enough. His ears were ringing, but he couldn’t demand full peace in the public space. He had to accept the circumstances.

Baekhyun threw his backpack behind the chair and kicked his shoes off. His legs moved on the chair before he noticed it.

Baekhyun sighed heavily, dropping his gaze to the book on his lap. The yellow hardcover didn’t brighten his mind today. He could only wonder why he was so agitated today.

The entire day had been painful. When they got rid of the fighting men in suits, he had spilled coffee on his white shirt and burnt his skin. His irritation caught on Jongdae, though Deok hyung had a part in it, too. Baekhyun felt bad for burdening him with his own problems (which meant Chanyeol’s umbrella). After work, he had injured his finger at the gym, while he was releasing his pressure on the punching bag.

“Fuck this”, Baekhyun sighed. He searched for the good position and tried to read, but his head was aching and he was hungry.

Chanyeol walked closer with the cart full of returned books. On top of one pile, there was a transparent plastic cup on it. It had a canteen logo on it, and it contained black liquid and ice cubes.

“Do you want some?” he asked and offered the drink to Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun took the cup to himself. Chanyeol continued his way towards the bookshelves. 

Baekhyun opened the lid and smelled the drink. The bitter smell of Americano made him sick, headache got worse. He threw the drink away. It dropped to the floor and spread around in a blink of an eye.

Chanyeol’s eyes got bigger when he heard the smack. He pressed his lips tightly together and moved his eyes from the dark brown puddle to Baekhyun. Dear customer read the book, keeping his expression cold.

Chanyeol abandoned his cart and walked away. Baekhyun didn’t dare to move anything but his eyes. He acted harder than he actually was. Regret burned in his chest. Coffee was simply the last thing what he wanted to smell at that moment.

Chanyeol returned with a cleaning carrier. He tried to clean the mess, but his attention was elsewhere. Every time he glanced at Baekhyun, he had a different expression. Stern, dissatisfied, asking.

Baekhyun turned the page, trying to stay indifferent. “I hate coffee.” 

“No feet on the chair,” Chanyeol said. He wiped the floor with a white disposable cloth. It turned coffee-colored in a flash. He picked it up, threw it in the bin. He dried the floor with a damp terrycloth.

Baekhyun put his legs down and tried to search for a better position. Couldn’t find it. His eyes moved from the book to the squatting Chanyeol. 

“I’m sorry. Bad day,” he said.

“You certainly aren’t the only one,” Chanyeol muttered.

Baekhyun’s heart was aching, he had seen the sight before. Last time was an accident, now he had made the mess on purpose. 

“I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun rubbed his face, short laughter followed; he wasn’t better than the men fighting over the scrambled eggs. He was a hypocrite. 

“Not going to happen again”, he said, speaking quieter. He turned his eyes on the open spread. To the bittersweet writing, which resonated with him, in that indignant but regretful mood he had. He lifted his foot back on the chair, his body got more comfortable.

Chanyeol pushed the cleaning carrier back to the closet. With the heavy steps, he walked back to the book cart and continued organizing the shelves. No matter the sour expression on Baekhyun’s face, he kept glancing at him, making his job harder.

Baekhyun cried out when he felt the attention on himself again. Only thing he wished for was the peace after a hell called work.

“What the fuck are you staring at?!”

“You,” Chanyeol said. “Your hair is standing up.”

Baekhyun combed his hair back in its place and cursed his decision to bleach it. The treated hair seemed to live its own life. 

The burning stare didn’t ease at all. He clenched his jaw and didn’t even try to calm himself down.

“What? Do you still have something to say?” he asked, hissing the words out. The throbbing headache and crumbling stomach was a combo that was hard to handle. If ringing ears and aching body got added to the equation, he’d become unbearable.

Chanyeol pushed the last book in its place. The cart was empty, and he was leaving. Finally.

“You look good,” he said, lifting a smallest smirk on his face. “No legs on the chair.”

Baekhyun pressed his arm against his stomach. The weird feeling had appeared again. It wasn’t fully because of the regret.

It was something more.


End file.
